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Might AI Sever Bitcoin’s Worth in Two? Vitalik Buterin Calls the Odds Tiny 🕷️🌑

Vitalik Buterin just clapped back hard at the idea that AI might tank Bitcoin’s price by half through security nightmares rn 🖤.

Vitalik Shuts Down AI Threats 💀

Crypto dude Liron Shapira dropped a tweet saying he is like 50% sure BTC could crash 50% or more in just two years cuz AI might wreck those proof-of-work vibes 👀. But Vitalik fired back saying the odds of AI actually breaking hashes or PoW are tiny fr and the real mess would be coordinating a big network upgrade tho 🚀.
Check Vitalik’s take here

Transition Drama Over Crypto Hacks 🤖

He stayed optimistic about long-term cybersecurity and thinks BTC can handle client or mining pool fixes without needing the whole crew to agree 😈. Shapira later bumped his own odds down to 40% after chatting with Vitalik and some other analyst named Eliezer 🔒.
See the original post

AI Speed Runs Could Be The Real Issue 💸

Vista Labs jumped in asking if upgrade delays might become the weakest spot instead of straight-up cracking SHA-256 🧠. Then Crypto Patel reminded everyone that Bitcoin’s real power is adapting when threats pop up not promising to stay safe forever ⚡. Recent real-world stuff shows AI poking at things too like those AI-assisted attacks that hit Boltz swap service and forced a shutdown plus a scan that found thousands of bugs in Bitcoin projects. North Korean-linked groups are even building local AI setups for malware vibes.
Dive into that debate
Overall trader Hazenlee thinks stronger AI might actually hype BTC scarcity more since it cannot fake ownership or rewrite decentralized history lol.


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Coldcard Bandit Drags 45% of Wave 3 Haul While Stolen Sats Slip Into CoinJoins 🕸️🖤

The shady hacker tied to wave 3 of those Coldcard raids just shifted 45% of the snatched BTC already 😈🖤.

Wave 3 Haul 🌑

Galaxy Research spilled that the loot got routed thru THORChain straight into ETH or dropped into Coinjoin mixers for some sneaky laundering 💀. During this round the exploiter whipped up 293 fresh 2-of-2 multisig vaults holding victim coins. First moves on September 2 funneled everything via THORChain to Ethereum but lately it’s all about Coinjoin rounds fr.

They’ve been clearing the biggest chunks first so ranks 1 thru 11 are already cleaned out rn. The next ten untouched vaults still hold 30.81 BTC while ranks 61 to 293 sit on 33.77 combined. Fresh txs helped spot a mystery vault linked to 58 addresses probably from more Coldcard victims 👀.

Aftermath Vibes 🦇

Most of the stolen satoshis across every wave are still chilling in the attacker’s wallets with around 82% unmoved tho. Only 18% got laundered so far lmao. The whole mess kicked off July 30 2026 after a firmware bug from March 2021 let weak random generators replace proper hardware entropy dropping seed security to like 40 bits on older kits. Attackers brute forced keys without ever touching the hardware itself.
BTC activity spiked hard post exploit as holders scrambled to move and consolidate funds pushing active addresses to an eight month high. Price barely flinched tho and BTC actually rallied toward $82,000 last month before cooling to $79,500 rn ✨.


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Ethereum’s Quietly Plotting Quantum Immunity For Its L1 By 2029 As Hegotá Upgrade Comes Alive 🖤🌙

Ethereum is gunning hard for a quantum-resistant Layer 1 by December 2029 fr, with the Ethereum Foundation’s Protocol squad hashing out this multi-fork strategy rn as Hegotá hits its scoping phase. 🖤
Post-quantum security lines up next to privacy boosts, quicker finality vibes, state handling and zkEVM upgrades tho, while the next fork stays super strict on extra scope. ✨

Eth Locks 2029 For Quantum Shields 🕷️

In a September 8 post the Ethereum Foundation said around 60 researchers, engineers and experts from all nine Protocol teams helped grade 62 EIPs for Hegotá. Their grind gave 397 scores before the crew debated the contested ones together.

For core devs the big goal is quantum resistance in execution, consensus and data layers by December 2029. That lines up with the 2029 migration dates Google, Cloudflare and Microsoft set, even if Q-day timing stays fuzzy.

Planning stays aggressive on purpose. The Foundation wants Eth prepped for Q-day as soon as 2030 while noting most real estimates push it later or maybe never. Still December 2029 stays non-negotiable until at least January 2027 when they check quantum progress with outsiders. 🔒

Glamsterdam should drop December 2026 and full post-quantum readiness lands at L*, five forks later. That needs forks every 7.2 months on average. A lighter MV-PQ version at J* could hit with 12-month spacing instead.

For that backup MV-PQ keeps Eth running through Q-day but with weaker guarantees. Researchers are still figuring the exact limits. Full resistance across all layers stays the December 2029 target.

Hegotá itself isn’t the quantum fork tho. It’s the upgrade that decides if later quantum work can stick to schedule. 💀

Two proposals top the Hegotá list. FOCIL lets validators set rules for builders on transaction inclusion, while Frame Transactions opens account abstraction and a way to swap out shaky secp256k1 keys.

Scope Keeps Focus On Security First 🌙

Only two of the 62 proposals scored an S grade meaning they must ship. Fifteen got A grades and look locked to ship, eight hit B and seven landed C. Twenty-eight got declined and two wait for mainnet data.

Beyond FOCIL there’s barely any appetite for extra consensus scope unless it directly helps post-quantum stuff. Testing and engineering bandwidth are tight as devs prep Hegotá and the forks after.

Quantum risk popped up all year, with Vitalik dropping a February roadmap on replacing vulnerable BLS signatures and pushing account abstraction via EIP-8141.

Instead of one big quantum upgrade Eth spreads the work across forks alongside privacy, state tweaks, fast finality and mandatory execution proofs. ⚡

Next up is a Reddit AMA on September 16 at 2 p.m. UTC where the Protocol cluster will chat priorities, the Hegotá tier list and whatever the community asks. 🧛


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Hunter Biden Conjures A Laptop Meme Coin In Defi While Trump Losers Claim Their Airdrop 🖤💎

Hunter Biden just dropped a bombshell by teasing his new meme coin LAPTOP launching straight on Coinbase’s Base chain September 9, all named after that infamous laptop drama from the 2020 election vibes 🖤. He’s holding back a fat 20% slice of the supply to airdrop the homies who got wrecked holding Donald Trump’s TRUMP coin too.

Biden Drops The Ticker And Date 💀

The Wall Street Journal spilled the tea Monday morning and Hunter hopped on his verified X account just 4 minutes later to confirm it with the $LAPTOP ticker plus that September 9 drop date next to a quick 31-second Fox News clip.

Supply Split Looks Sinisterly Generous 👀

The token rocks a clean 1 billion total supply with the founding squad including Hunter locking 30% for six months before a slow two-year release drip. Another 20% splits across two sneaky airdrop rounds for those TRUMP coin bag holders underwater, plus his Substack fans and Andrew Callaghan’s mailing list crew.

20% lines up for liquidity pools, exchange listings and legal fees while up to 30% gets burned on big milestones like a fresh Bitcoin all-time high, LAPTOP flipping TRUMP’s market cap, or a Democratic 2028 election win 🌙.

Fake versions already popped up on Solana, BNB Chain and TON racking $6.9 million in shady volume within the first hour, yet none hold any official contract since it lands live Wednesday on Base.

Base Network Attracts The Usual Scammy Chaos 🕸️

Coinbase’s Base has pulled over 500 scam tokens right after its 2023 debut, and blockchain sleuth ZachXBT keeps tracing hijacked celeb accounts pushing those fakes with $3.5 million drifting to anon wallets. TRUMP itself launched January 18 2025 on Solana, crashed over 50% fast when Melania launched hers, and now sits near $2.28 after peaking at $73.43 earlier.

The Real Laptop Story Gets Darker 🔮

That laptop is legit though; Hunter left it at a Wilmington Delaware repair shop back in 2019 and the New York Post dropped its files in October 2020 right before the election. An FBI agent confirmed the serial matched Apple records during his 2024 trial while Hunter pushes back claiming cloud storage theft. The official LAPTOP contract fires live on Base September 9 so stay sharp out here 🦇.


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